The Soul's Last Chapter

Disclaimer: Philosophical post follows. Don't mind my innocent babblings.

Do you ever wonder where you might have ended up if you'd chosen a different path?

I am a firm believer that fate works much like the way one of those old "choose your own path" novels works. "Turn to page 25 if you want Joey the Discoverer to turn left at the cave." I recently went to my first "real" country concert, Lady Antebellum, Miranda Lambert, Sugarland, and Kenny Chesney. Then the very next weekend I went to my mom's new hobby of camping at a campground in Dillsboro, IN. This coupled with the fact of all the people from the past who are getting into the whole social networking thing of Facebook, Myspace and Twitter just makes me look up at the sky and wonder..."How in the world did I get to Columbus, OH?" I often feel like a completely same but different person that I used to be. I guess that is the way it's supposed to work though. What if I would have stayed at Pitt, would I still have met my husband? What would I be like if I had been less shy all of those times that I wanted to say something but didn't? I wonder if we ever get to see what would've happened if we'd have made a left instead of a right that one time.

I hope there is. The soul's last chapter.

I read somewhere once that one philosophy of religion that includes reincarnation is that you start out as a baby soul with no experiences and no lessons learned. As you live each life you learn certain lessons and eventually, perhaps when you are an "old soul," you have learned all the lessons there are to learn. You've been the theif and been stolen from, it's then that you're life has less challenges and the closer you are to that last chapter. In my life so far, I haven't had that many challenges to face. I wonder how many lifetimes I might have left according to this idea.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Model for Hire.

I'm sure I've mentioned before that I am not skinny. Not even average, I am overweight. For the most part, I am ok with this, as I've been overweight for the majority of my life. I'm comfortable with who I am, I'd like to lose weight to be healthier and I'd like to wear more stylish clothing, but all and all, I'm pretty good right here. However, since the wedding I've gained about 15 lbs. This is not a I want to lose weight post, but a rant of other sorts. Due to gaining the 15 lbs, I've begun to shop at Lane Bryant. I call it the fat people store, but anyways, back on track. I don't mind shopping there, because I still wear one of the smaller sizes and most of the clothes are too big for me anyways, and they do have some nice items. BUT. For the love of God, and everything holy I wish they would stop using skinny people as their models.

I received a catalog from them today and every. last. person. is SKINNY. How in the world am I supposed to see what the fat people clothes look like on a person, if that person isn't FAT?!

Look here if you want to see an example. As an overweight person, I seriously resent the fact that they can't even put appropriately sized models in their catalog. I just might stop shopping there. Argh!

Life Changing Events

Well...I'm not pregnant. Bet I had you fooled! And, since I've recently gotten married it's not that, so what pray tell am I talking about you ask? I've decided to reevaluate my schooling situation. As many (if you can qualify my readers as many) of you know, not only do I work at Ohio State, I am working towards my bachelor's degree there. I have an associates of applied science in Clinical Laboratory Technology, and so I was working towards my bs in bs, uh I mean microbiology. I like to think that I am a strong, smart person, but trying to work and be a wife, and take care of a house, and take these hard ass math and science classes is just well...turning me into a miserable 80 year old shrew. I don't cook, I don't clean (well like I would LIKE to clean), I don't do anything but work, do homework, and bitch about doing work and homework. I think I've just reached my breaking point. I've decided to drop down to one class per quarter instead of two for a few terms, and change my major. I am probably going to either change it to history or business, neither of which have anything to do with my profession. But! I can still take classes, and as long as I end up getting a 4 year degree I will be satisfied with myself. And, amazingly, that's all that matters to me.

A Whole Month?

Wow, there goes my goal of trying to blog more often right out the window along with my professional reputation. I don't mean to be vague, but it really angers me when someone insults my profession. I am a medical lab tech, and yes there are a whole lot of people smarter than me, who know alot more about a lot of things, but sometimes, I actually know what the hell I'm talking about. I'll just leave my little rant at that, because I'm annoyed and I'm sure that I'll go on and on and it will be boring.

Nothing exciting is happening around here, hence my lack of subjects to blog about, but we did have a cancellation yesterday! OSU hardly ever closes and so it was a real treat to not have work or classes. I spent the day oh so wisely, doing absolutely nothing. For those of you keeping track, midterms are next week and so my free day off was definitely not spent in the manner it should have been. I did catch up on some sleep though, so that was a nice change. The next storm is supposed to hit Monday and Tuesday of next week, oh great just in time for the tests! I'll let you know how that goes...

Oh and this weekend, a little pick up game of football is happening, the SUPERBOWL! I really wanted to come home to Pittsburgh to watch the big game, but again, stupid midterms are putting a cramp in my style, so I'll have to watch from the C-bus, but don't think I won't be cheering with every bit of intensity as the yinzers on their home turf! Go STEELERS!

The Great Debate.

For those of you who don't know, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). And 6 months ago, I finally got married. So therein begins the great kid debate. Shawn and I decided before we ever got married that if we have kids fine, if we can't, then that's ok too, and we laid out exactly what measures we were willing to take if things don't happen naturally.

The thing is... I don't know if I want to have kids. At times I do, but at times I really don't. I've always kind of let myself hang in the middle there, so that I wouldn't be too let down if I can't have kids.

The part of me that wants the kids, just wants to get it over with, I want to be a relatively young mom. I want to do the preg thing and be done with it, I don't forsee myself as being one of those women who will enjoy pregnancy and glow with it. I'm also hoping that if I do get pregnant then my body will normalize itself somewhat, and I won't have as many annoying "symptoms" of PCOS.

The part of me that doesn't want the kids says that I want to finish school first. That's going to be another 3 years at least though because of my work/class situation. This part is the part that doesn't want to get her hopes up in case I can't get pregnant. The point of the whole so serious post is that, it's been 6 months. Since we've started trying. So now, I'm going to try and embark on a "lifestyle" change to be healthier so I can get pregnant (maybe) and stay that way and be a healthier me.

If this isn't enough weight to motivate me to lose some of it. I don't know what is.

Random...

What do you do if you accidentially honk your horn while stopped at a red light on a two lane road with lots of traffic? Pretend to wave to someone? Wave and mouth "I'm sorry?"

4 degrees is too cold. This is not Canada.

Don't Hate the Dork.

I am officially a huge dork, and have started studying for a class before it has commenced. I don't ever want to be that close to not passing again. So sue me. I guess I'm allowed to be dorky, considering I'm adult and all.