Monday, November 30, 2009


I've never been to therapy. Well, once when I was a freshman at Pitt and depressed, I went to see a counselor. The counselor gave me the suicide test and apparently I wasn't suicidal because after I told her an abbreviated version of my life story and she graded the test, she said, "well what do you want from me?" I didn't know the answer.

Since then, in the past 10 years, I have had probably pretty regular bouts with depression. Despite this, I've never been on medication and still have a somewhat successful existence. The problem is since then and since that fall day at Pitt, I still haven't finished school. I somehow keep sabotaging myself and even as I type this I am skipping yet another class. I ask myself, "Why do I keep doing this?" I don't know the answer.

I'm thinking about actually trying to talk to someone. There are a lot of issues that loom in my future that I know are going to be hard. I know I'm going to have to try hard to get through everything and... I won't know the answer.

No comments: