For your Thanksgiving this year, I decided you might need a little help with some turkey alternatives. I too, like the most traditional traditionalist, believe you should have turkey on Thanksgiving. However with the rising economic concerns this year, I realize it just might not be practical.

Maybe you could try one of these:

It's a chicken noodle soup turkey! Everyone can afford some Campbells!

Or how about one of these?

A mac and cheese turkey! Get yourself a box of generic Kraft for less than a buck!

You can see all of the turkey's in their glory here. Take that Food Network!

Frrr...eeee...zing.

It is so cold in my office, that it is too cold to blog. Perhaps a witty post tonight from the warmth of my humble abode. Catch ya later.

Beat Michigan!

When I first moved here to Columbus in 2005, I had little clue what Buckeye nation was about. I was soon to find out because the first job I got here was at Ohio State. I had every intention of starting classes also, because there is a great tuition benefit. Now, I am a Steeler fan, you know, having been born in Pittsburgh. So like many others, I was ignornant to the fact that people actually paid attention to college football. I mean, of course I cheered for Pitt, but I never really paid any attention to the BCS and such. I thought the NFL was the only football that anyone cared about. I tried hard to resist becoming a "poisonous nut", but I am starting to falter. School is hard enough, trying to hate it just makes it worse.

I am not kidding, when I say that here in Columbus, Buckeye nation comes close to paralleling Steeler Nation. No, they don't have cool terrible towels, or an accented announcer, but let me just tell you that these people are crazy when it comes to Buckeye football.

The culmination of all of this crazyness is the Michigan game. The Ohio State/Michigan rivalry roots deep in the hearts of the Buckeye fans. Imagine Steelers/Browns if you will. Tonight, something that I think is a cross between utterly ridiculous and proud to call myself an "almost" buckeye, the Mirror Lake Jump. Mirror Lake is the lake that resides on campus and every year traditionally all of the freshman, and probably a few others, jump into the lake. FYI it is 32 degrees here today. Tonight's forcast is for 12-15mph winds. That means a windchill. Really, are you crazy? Not to mention that the lake is filled with duck poop. A part of me honors the tradition side of it, but let me tell you that if I catch the plague from one of the freshman mirror lake jumpers, I'm going to be angry.

Harrisburg Pike

Since moving to the southwest side of Columbus, the shortest way to campus from my house is taking Harrisburg Pike. I commonly refer to it as "The Pike". For those of you (which I'm guessing is ALL of you) who aren't familiar with "The Pike" it is a stretch of road in between white trashville and, what is affectionately known as, the ghetto. The particular section that I drive everyday has a plethora of fast food joints, used car lots, and gas stations. The amusing thing about the Pike is that no matter what time of day you are driving it, someone is ALWAYS walking along. I'm serious. I've been on it at 4 am on the way to the airport, and don't you know, there was someone trudging along.

My favorite part of the Pike is closer to white trashville and it is the house with the giant wooden carved bear that is roaring at attention waiting to eat someone. Really? A no tresspassing sign was too much trouble? You had to go and get yourself a giant wooden bear to scare people off? That is taking the token trailer park pink flamingo to another level. The bear is a clear indication of the kind of road that the Pike is. This morning as I was on my way to work at around 7:20 am, driving along, listening to the radio, when all of a sudden, I do a double take. Walking down the Pike was....a cowboy. I'm not joking, the only thing he was missing was his trusty horse and lasso. Dressed to the cowboy nines, including black hat, boots, cowboy looking coat, and shiny white old cowboy beard. Was he on his way to the ro-deo? Maybe he was going to the final battle and fight the bear. I don't know, but I felt as I could honestly say, you never know what you will see on the Pike.

Until...five mintues later when I witnessed a man in full hunting gear riding a bicycle. He had on his hot orange neon camo. I didn't see a gun anywhere, but he did have on a bicycle helmet. I hope he can catch some deer in the woods on his bike.

you just never know... on the Pike.

An Informative Letter to the Freshman

Dear Freshman at OSU,

Due to the fact that I (for many reasons) am back taking gen chem and calculus again with you this autumn quarter, like I have with so many freshman before, there are a few things I that I would like to let you know.

1. No matter how smart you were in high school and how sky high your soaring honors/AP GPA was, you are more than likely not going to do as well as you thought you would your freshman year. Please do not let this affect your state of mind. Keep going.

2. Please be mindful of people driving on campus. With your soaring GPA you should be able to figure out that although pedestrians have the right-of-way, cars WILL hit you. Especially people driving cars that are stuck taking Gen Chem and Calculus with you. They have places to get to too.

3. Sweatpants/running pants and those robin hood looking boots DO NOT look good together. Get yourself some Nikes or Adidas.

4. Keep in mind that normal people have to spend 3.75 for their lattes and chai's. The world does not work on swipes.

5. It IS ok to skip classes once in awhile. Let other people get a good seat once in awhile.

6. Night classes exist. Please don't look at people like aliens because they have a class after 5 pm.

That is all for now, I will keep you posted of any other pertinant information that might need to be addressed.

Sincerely,

Joann
A non-traditional student