Monday, December 01, 2008


On Wednesday, I got out of work a little early and decided that I needed to find a few new outfits to wear for the Thanksgiving holiday. Now it is no secret that I am not skinny. I even think lots of people would call me fat, but usually I can find clothes still in normal stores. However, the last 10 lbs I've put on since the wedding have pushed me over into the Lane Bryant range. I HATE shopping at Lane Bryant. I call it the fat people store, sorry if that is offensive, but I am qualified to say so, if you know what I mean. Fat people, apparently, are supposed to be gifted in the chest region and I am just not, so that makes finding clothes in there a challenge for me.

So there I am, perusing around LB with a friend of mine and we are amazed at the amount of rhinestones that one store can contain. Isn't that against the fire code or something? Don't let the sun shine in or there will surely be a fire. My friend noted that it looked like someone with a bedazzler got drunk and went to town.

I manage to find two shirts that don't have rhinestones on them, and since they were having a bogo sale, I decided to try on some jeans. They do not have regular sized jeans at LB, they have sizes 1-8 in three different fits, straight hips, curvy, and fat ass. Is the whole size 1-8 thing supposed to make me feel any better? I just don't get it. I don't even want to know what size I really was in. Carrot sticks here I come. The other odd thing I was amazed by was all of the UGLY patterns that abounded. I mean really, if it is ugly on a beanpole person, do you really thing ENLARGING it is going to make it better? I don't think so. So two shirts and two pair of jeans later, I got some nice clothing, but I am definitely ready to go back to the regular stores. I will use the bedazzler as motivation while I'm on the elliptical every morning next week.

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