Monday, December 29, 2008

The Great Debate.

For those of you who don't know, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). And 6 months ago, I finally got married. So therein begins the great kid debate. Shawn and I decided before we ever got married that if we have kids fine, if we can't, then that's ok too, and we laid out exactly what measures we were willing to take if things don't happen naturally.

The thing is... I don't know if I want to have kids. At times I do, but at times I really don't. I've always kind of let myself hang in the middle there, so that I wouldn't be too let down if I can't have kids.

The part of me that wants the kids, just wants to get it over with, I want to be a relatively young mom. I want to do the preg thing and be done with it, I don't forsee myself as being one of those women who will enjoy pregnancy and glow with it. I'm also hoping that if I do get pregnant then my body will normalize itself somewhat, and I won't have as many annoying "symptoms" of PCOS.

The part of me that doesn't want the kids says that I want to finish school first. That's going to be another 3 years at least though because of my work/class situation. This part is the part that doesn't want to get her hopes up in case I can't get pregnant. The point of the whole so serious post is that, it's been 6 months. Since we've started trying. So now, I'm going to try and embark on a "lifestyle" change to be healthier so I can get pregnant (maybe) and stay that way and be a healthier me.

If this isn't enough weight to motivate me to lose some of it. I don't know what is.

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