Therapy. File this one under #thingsthatscaretheshitoutofme. Heh, try to tweet that hashtag.
The reason I'm afraid of therapy is at the ripe young age of 18, when I was a freshman in college the first time, I was depressed. I was commuting to school, which meant that already shy me made NO friends what-so-ever. My friends that I did have were all spread out and "away" at college or living in the dorms at my school and I totally did not fit in. I started failing my classes and just being generally miserable all around. I went to my academic advisor and spoke with her about not doing well in any of my classes and she said that I should go to the counseling center and speak with one of the counselors there and that I should withdraw from all of my classes that semester.
I went to the counseling center, met the counselor, she gave me the suicide test (I guess I passed ), poured my heart out to this woman, told her everything that had been bothering me and she looked at me and said, “What do you want from me?” and I said, “I guess I need to to sign a form so I can withdraw” and she said, “You don’t need my signature for that you can do it at the registrar.”
So for the past 10 years, I’ve faced battling with depression a few times, un-medicated and untreated. It’s probably caused me some trouble that I didn’t need, but hey everything is a learning experience right?
However, faced with all of these infertility issues, as well as some other stuff that I haven’t ever dealt with properly, I finally bit the bullet and faced my fears and went to the faculty and staff assistance counselor.
She listened to me and was caring, and asked what I wanted to get out of our session. I wanted to get over my fear of therapy. She said I should see someone just to bounce ideas off of. Translation: yep, you’re crazy, go seek help. So I am. I have my first session tonight and I’m a little nervous. I hope I don’t end up locked up.