The Great Debate.

For those of you who don't know, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). And 6 months ago, I finally got married. So therein begins the great kid debate. Shawn and I decided before we ever got married that if we have kids fine, if we can't, then that's ok too, and we laid out exactly what measures we were willing to take if things don't happen naturally.

The thing is... I don't know if I want to have kids. At times I do, but at times I really don't. I've always kind of let myself hang in the middle there, so that I wouldn't be too let down if I can't have kids.

The part of me that wants the kids, just wants to get it over with, I want to be a relatively young mom. I want to do the preg thing and be done with it, I don't forsee myself as being one of those women who will enjoy pregnancy and glow with it. I'm also hoping that if I do get pregnant then my body will normalize itself somewhat, and I won't have as many annoying "symptoms" of PCOS.

The part of me that doesn't want the kids says that I want to finish school first. That's going to be another 3 years at least though because of my work/class situation. This part is the part that doesn't want to get her hopes up in case I can't get pregnant. The point of the whole so serious post is that, it's been 6 months. Since we've started trying. So now, I'm going to try and embark on a "lifestyle" change to be healthier so I can get pregnant (maybe) and stay that way and be a healthier me.

If this isn't enough weight to motivate me to lose some of it. I don't know what is.

Random...

What do you do if you accidentially honk your horn while stopped at a red light on a two lane road with lots of traffic? Pretend to wave to someone? Wave and mouth "I'm sorry?"

4 degrees is too cold. This is not Canada.

Don't Hate the Dork.

I am officially a huge dork, and have started studying for a class before it has commenced. I don't ever want to be that close to not passing again. So sue me. I guess I'm allowed to be dorky, considering I'm adult and all.

Deep Thoughts...

The wait is over. I have passed freshman chemistry, again. 10 years later. I don't know if i could be so excited and so utterly disappointed in myself at the same time. I was about to change my major from microbiology into something easier, like business. I think some part of me would have felt like I was taking the easy way out instead of toughing through this and proving the ultimate point to myself.

I often wonder if when I graduate if I will feel any different. Will I finally be at peace with myself for making so many mistakes in the past? I intend on making a post to inform my vast readership of my history with college and why all of this freshman chemistry retakingness is so ludiacris, but that will just have to come at a later date.

Randomness:
1. Definitely very funny that the 1st face transplant happened in Cleveland.
2. Every single time I remember to turn on the Steelers, it's the 4th quarter and it's a nail-biting end.
3. Cats ruin Christmas trees and plants. I am Captain Obvious.
4. Why is it that at work beer sounded so good, but at the bar, tasted icky?
5. It's icy out, but not icy enough for a snow day. There is no Santa.

Poor me.

If anyone knows what I did, kharma wise, to deserve getting sick for finals. Please respond. At least then I'd have something to blame it on.

I have not had a cold for the ENTIRE 3 years that I have lived in Columbus and I get sick two days before a final I HAVE to pass? Seriously?

Ugh. I'm off somewhere napping, dreaming of hybrid orbitals and trig functions in a nyquil induced coma. Wish me luck.

Finals

Dear Ohio State,

Due to the fact that I've been in school, one or the other, for the past 10 years, I think that I have enough credits as well as life experience to earn a bachelors degree. I don't know if you realize or not, but they let me crossmatch blood to transfuse. INTO people, in which if it was the wrong type, they would DIE. Please forward my completed transcript to my home address. Thanks.

Joann

Bedazzled.

On Wednesday, I got out of work a little early and decided that I needed to find a few new outfits to wear for the Thanksgiving holiday. Now it is no secret that I am not skinny. I even think lots of people would call me fat, but usually I can find clothes still in normal stores. However, the last 10 lbs I've put on since the wedding have pushed me over into the Lane Bryant range. I HATE shopping at Lane Bryant. I call it the fat people store, sorry if that is offensive, but I am qualified to say so, if you know what I mean. Fat people, apparently, are supposed to be gifted in the chest region and I am just not, so that makes finding clothes in there a challenge for me.



So there I am, perusing around LB with a friend of mine and we are amazed at the amount of rhinestones that one store can contain. Isn't that against the fire code or something? Don't let the sun shine in or there will surely be a fire. My friend noted that it looked like someone with a bedazzler got drunk and went to town.

I manage to find two shirts that don't have rhinestones on them, and since they were having a bogo sale, I decided to try on some jeans. They do not have regular sized jeans at LB, they have sizes 1-8 in three different fits, straight hips, curvy, and fat ass. Is the whole size 1-8 thing supposed to make me feel any better? I just don't get it. I don't even want to know what size I really was in. Carrot sticks here I come. The other odd thing I was amazed by was all of the UGLY patterns that abounded. I mean really, if it is ugly on a beanpole person, do you really thing ENLARGING it is going to make it better? I don't think so. So two shirts and two pair of jeans later, I got some nice clothing, but I am definitely ready to go back to the regular stores. I will use the bedazzler as motivation while I'm on the elliptical every morning next week.

For your Thanksgiving this year, I decided you might need a little help with some turkey alternatives. I too, like the most traditional traditionalist, believe you should have turkey on Thanksgiving. However with the rising economic concerns this year, I realize it just might not be practical.

Maybe you could try one of these:

It's a chicken noodle soup turkey! Everyone can afford some Campbells!

Or how about one of these?

A mac and cheese turkey! Get yourself a box of generic Kraft for less than a buck!

You can see all of the turkey's in their glory here. Take that Food Network!

Frrr...eeee...zing.

It is so cold in my office, that it is too cold to blog. Perhaps a witty post tonight from the warmth of my humble abode. Catch ya later.

Beat Michigan!

When I first moved here to Columbus in 2005, I had little clue what Buckeye nation was about. I was soon to find out because the first job I got here was at Ohio State. I had every intention of starting classes also, because there is a great tuition benefit. Now, I am a Steeler fan, you know, having been born in Pittsburgh. So like many others, I was ignornant to the fact that people actually paid attention to college football. I mean, of course I cheered for Pitt, but I never really paid any attention to the BCS and such. I thought the NFL was the only football that anyone cared about. I tried hard to resist becoming a "poisonous nut", but I am starting to falter. School is hard enough, trying to hate it just makes it worse.

I am not kidding, when I say that here in Columbus, Buckeye nation comes close to paralleling Steeler Nation. No, they don't have cool terrible towels, or an accented announcer, but let me just tell you that these people are crazy when it comes to Buckeye football.

The culmination of all of this crazyness is the Michigan game. The Ohio State/Michigan rivalry roots deep in the hearts of the Buckeye fans. Imagine Steelers/Browns if you will. Tonight, something that I think is a cross between utterly ridiculous and proud to call myself an "almost" buckeye, the Mirror Lake Jump. Mirror Lake is the lake that resides on campus and every year traditionally all of the freshman, and probably a few others, jump into the lake. FYI it is 32 degrees here today. Tonight's forcast is for 12-15mph winds. That means a windchill. Really, are you crazy? Not to mention that the lake is filled with duck poop. A part of me honors the tradition side of it, but let me tell you that if I catch the plague from one of the freshman mirror lake jumpers, I'm going to be angry.

Harrisburg Pike

Since moving to the southwest side of Columbus, the shortest way to campus from my house is taking Harrisburg Pike. I commonly refer to it as "The Pike". For those of you (which I'm guessing is ALL of you) who aren't familiar with "The Pike" it is a stretch of road in between white trashville and, what is affectionately known as, the ghetto. The particular section that I drive everyday has a plethora of fast food joints, used car lots, and gas stations. The amusing thing about the Pike is that no matter what time of day you are driving it, someone is ALWAYS walking along. I'm serious. I've been on it at 4 am on the way to the airport, and don't you know, there was someone trudging along.

My favorite part of the Pike is closer to white trashville and it is the house with the giant wooden carved bear that is roaring at attention waiting to eat someone. Really? A no tresspassing sign was too much trouble? You had to go and get yourself a giant wooden bear to scare people off? That is taking the token trailer park pink flamingo to another level. The bear is a clear indication of the kind of road that the Pike is. This morning as I was on my way to work at around 7:20 am, driving along, listening to the radio, when all of a sudden, I do a double take. Walking down the Pike was....a cowboy. I'm not joking, the only thing he was missing was his trusty horse and lasso. Dressed to the cowboy nines, including black hat, boots, cowboy looking coat, and shiny white old cowboy beard. Was he on his way to the ro-deo? Maybe he was going to the final battle and fight the bear. I don't know, but I felt as I could honestly say, you never know what you will see on the Pike.

Until...five mintues later when I witnessed a man in full hunting gear riding a bicycle. He had on his hot orange neon camo. I didn't see a gun anywhere, but he did have on a bicycle helmet. I hope he can catch some deer in the woods on his bike.

you just never know... on the Pike.

An Informative Letter to the Freshman

Dear Freshman at OSU,

Due to the fact that I (for many reasons) am back taking gen chem and calculus again with you this autumn quarter, like I have with so many freshman before, there are a few things I that I would like to let you know.

1. No matter how smart you were in high school and how sky high your soaring honors/AP GPA was, you are more than likely not going to do as well as you thought you would your freshman year. Please do not let this affect your state of mind. Keep going.

2. Please be mindful of people driving on campus. With your soaring GPA you should be able to figure out that although pedestrians have the right-of-way, cars WILL hit you. Especially people driving cars that are stuck taking Gen Chem and Calculus with you. They have places to get to too.

3. Sweatpants/running pants and those robin hood looking boots DO NOT look good together. Get yourself some Nikes or Adidas.

4. Keep in mind that normal people have to spend 3.75 for their lattes and chai's. The world does not work on swipes.

5. It IS ok to skip classes once in awhile. Let other people get a good seat once in awhile.

6. Night classes exist. Please don't look at people like aliens because they have a class after 5 pm.

That is all for now, I will keep you posted of any other pertinant information that might need to be addressed.

Sincerely,

Joann
A non-traditional student

27. Get the rest of stuff out of my dad's house.

Sadly, my grandmother passed away on October 13, 2008 so I had to go home this week for the funeral.

The service was nice, and I had a good time spending quality time with my family which rarely happens, so I guess we made the most of the bad circumstances for the visit.

I stayed a little extra on Thursday to clean out the closet in my bedroom at my Dad's house. I ended up coming home with a carload of crap that still needs to be unpacked and put away.

The good news is I can cross number 27 off of my list, but the bad news is, it's going to put me behind a little on number 1 because I'm going to have to stick all of the stuff in a closet until I have time to deal with what I want to do with it.

It was kind of depressing to find a dress that I used to wear in high school and find that there is no way in hell it would ever fit me now. It was SO tiny! I thought I was FAT, so incredibly FAT then! I'm only about 35 lbs heavier now, but geez, it's crazy to think about it. Perhaps it will motivate me for number 72. Get in shape.

I also asked my cousins to come out and finish the garage for me and we will party for a weekend, and they seemed like it was a possibility, so I might be well on my way to crossing off number 28.

8. Visit Pittsburgh at least once a year

I moved to Ohio in July of 2003, first to Cincinnati and then in November of '05 to Columbus. It really bends my mind to think that I have not lived in Pittsburgh for over 5 years now. Crazy sometimes where life drops you off and doesn't come back to get you. The last visit I made home was around September the 12th, and since that is pretty darn close, I'm counting that as my visit this year.

1 of 3 accomplished.

101. Watch all the Best Picture winning movies since I was born.

I am cheating on this one, because I have seen some of these movies a million times. I can almost dictate to you some of the words.

So here are the ones that I am crossing off:
1988-Rain Man -"Gotta watch Wapner"
1990-Dances With Wolves
1991-Silence of the Lambs
1993-Schindler's List
1994-Forrest Gump
1995-Braveheart
1997-Titanic
1998-Shakespeare in Love
1999-American Beauty
2000-Gladiator
2003-LOTR-Return of the King
2006-The Departed

51. Get Shawn Drunk

Recieved confirmation that my Handgrenades have been ordered. This puts me well on my way to accomplishing #51.

For those of you who don't know my dear husband, he doesn't drink. Which, made marrying me all that more interesting and challenging I'm sure. Well...I take that back, he does drink, just not enough to get drunk. He is 6'5 and not a skinny minny so I'm guessing that it will take a lot of alcohol to accomplish this task. I think a coupla handgrenades ought to do the trick. Halloween drunkedness here we come! I just hope he doesn't puke on me. :)

I'll keep you posted.

#1. Organize and clean out every closet in my house.

Last weekend, I decided it was high time to get something crossed off of my list, because it began on September 23 and well last weekend was October 4 and I hadn't done anything yet.

Shawn was at a golf outing on Saturday, and me being the loser that I am, decided to start cleaning. I managed to clean out and organize one closet. I can't cross this off my list but, I guess that is one down.

Hall
Master Bedroom
Bedroom1
Bedroom2-Complete!
Linen

101 Things in 1001 days.

Well...

Because Jen was the reason that I started a blog, way back in the day. And I saw that she was doing the 101 things in 1001 days, I decided to do it too. I wasn't going to post it on the blog, but I think I need a way to keep track of it, so here goes.

It just so happens that September 23, 2008 is 1001 days away from my 30th birthday, June 21, 2011. That is when I began.

Here's the list:

1. Organize and clean out every closet in my house.
2. Paint the bathroom and kitchen.
3. Finish my wedding/honeymoon scrapbooks.
4. Make at least 3 pieces of beaded jewelry.
5. Establish a savings account of at least $3000.
6. Celebrate my 3 year anniversary.
7. Pay off at least one student loan.
8. Visit Pittsburgh at least once a year.
9. Go to my 10 year high school reunion.
10. Take a midnight walk on the beach with Shawn.
11. Be 75% complete towards graduation.
12. Keep my front yard with flowers and weeded for an entire summer.
13. Pay off my credit card.
14. Lose at least 50 pounds.
15. Participate in a walk for a cause.
16. Go see two Dave Matthews’ concerts in different cities on the same tour.
17. Visit at least 3 states I have not yet been to.
18. Send out Christmas cards.
19. Take at least 25 photos of Shawn and I.
20. Get braces.
21. Get Lasix eye surgery.
22. Go to a restaurant and order a merlot.
23. Get a massage.
24. Go on vacation with my mom.
25. Visit my aunt and cousin in FL.
26. Party with my cousins in Pittsburgh.
27. Get the rest of stuff out of my dad’s house.
28. Finish the garage.
29. Finish one badge album.
30. Buy an expensive pair of shoes.
31. Try one new recipe a month.
32. Eat an entirely vegetarian meal.
33. Eat at a gormet restaurant.
34. Go see a show in Vegas.
35. Go to NY to see a broadway play.
36. Visit Lake Erie and actually see the lake.
37. Go whale watching.
38. Go to Washington DC and see all the monuments.
39. Take a tour of Europe.
40. Have a baby.
41. Refinish the hutch and the dining room table
42. Learn how to sew again.
43. Cook dinner for Shawn’s parents.
44. Have a picnic at our house
45. Get a deck and fence.
46. Cook a turkey and all the fixin’s by myself.
47. Bake Christmas cookies for everyone.
48. Start Christmas shopping in July once.
49. Go on a hike at a park.
50. Eat dinner with the good china.
51. Get Shawn drunk.
52. Let things go more easily.
53. Hang up more pictures in my house.
54. Stay off the internet for an entire week at home.
55. Read at least 4 non-school books a year, each year.
56. Spend less $$ on groceries.
57. Buy an antique.
58. Spend more time outside.
59. Go get my makeup done for a special occasion.
60. Write a letter to a friend.
61. Go an entire month with no pop.
62. Write a poem.
63. Take a class that has nothing to do with my major, just for fun.
64. Volunteer for something.
65. Go on a girls only roadtrip.
66. Be on tv.
67. Watch a black and white movie.
68. Go golfing.
69. Go to a Steeler Game.
70. Have Matt over for a visit.
71. Post a video on You Tube.
72. Get in shape.
73. Kiss in the rain.
74. Throw someone a surprise party.
75. Have a Halloween party.
76. Go on a picnic.
77. Drink ale at an Irish Pub.
78. Write an entire notebook for one class in blue ink.
79. Visit a factory and take a tour.
80. Have dinner in the Short North.
81. Go to an Amish restaurant.
82. Go an entire day without speaking.
83. Go three different churches that are different denominations.
84. Establish a cleaning regimen (change sheets @ exactly one week, etc).
85. Read a financial blog every day for a week.
86. Buy stock in something.
87. Do yoga once.
88. Go on a wine tasting.
89. Go on a beer tasting.
90. Drink a flavored coffee.
91. Pack my lunch for an entire month. No fast food.
92. Go to three festivals (ren fest, pumpkin fest, etc).
93. Drink hot apple cidar around a camp fire.
94. Build a snowman in my yard.
95. Take Shawn to Wrigley Field.
96. Learn how to use a camera properly.
97. Maintain at least a 3.0 average.
98. Update my blog regularly.
99. Get a facial.
100. Make Shawn breakfast in bed.
101. Watch all the Best Picture winning movies since I was born. (0/18)

Throw away your canteloupes.

Tuesday, so it's pretty boring so far today. No exciting stories from class last night, no exciting stories from the drive into work. Let's take a look at the morning news, shall we?

The first headline that caught my eye, Members of Russian Cult Trickle Out of Cave. Ok, so if your buried in a cave, waiting for the end of the world, and your cave collapses, isn't that the end of the world? For you, at least? Hmm..

This guy has just got the right idea. I don't get these people at all. How could you watch your child in pain and not try and take action to stop it? If you believe in all the religious junk, the parents are the vehicle God has sent to care for his children on this earth. I don't think his intent was to have just prayer as enough to cure them so they can live out their lives according to his plan. If it was, why would he have created antibiotics and such? Or are antibiotics the devil's evil plan?

Better toss out your Hondouran Canteloupes. There is a joke here somewhere.

Even the news is not very exciting this morning.

half post-it's like half mast

Today, kids, marks a very important mile stone in the happenings of me, your hostess. What is today, you ask? In exactly 3 months from today, I will be getting married. 3 months. 12 weeks. 90 days. 2160 hours...unless my math is awful. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about getting married, or else I wouldn't be doing it. However, the whole being the center of attention for an entire day thing, planned the whole shin-dig, oh god this is it, moment, is what I'm not looking forward to.
I had planned to write this whole amusing post about the subject, but it frightens me so, that I think I'll just quit thinking about it.

Columbus Craigslist: First Edition

I am an avid reader of TheBurghBlog and PittGirl, who is the author of said blog, always mines craiglist for some inevitably funny posts. I hate to be a copycat, but the Columbus craigslist has some gems to offer to the three people who read this so I'm going to take a stab at it.

I've decided to take this first addition from the "Rants and Raves" section, because that's what I was reading today.

They are debating the use of marijuana today and the first post I clicked on was "Devil's Lettuce" here are some goodies from that post:

"The government does not want us to have it because it cuts into the lobbyists business."

"Me personally, whether I smoked today is the difference between when someone gives me the douchebag treatment whether I tell em its not my fault your wifes a fat fucking whore or just smile and walk away instead. It makes co-existing with a planet were 90% of people are morons and a country where 60% are killing themselves one twinkie(per fist) at a time."

Can you picture it? We're all dying in all the smoke and destruction with a twinkie in each hand. At least we won't go hungry..

Great post #2.
I am from Pennsylvania, not Ohio, and I will say that until the day I die.

Craigslist: The cure for alcoholism.

Enough of the ranting and raving for today, it's time for class.

Another Spring Break over.

Good Morning! TGIF, right? Although I am glad it's Friday, I'm shedding a little tear because it is the end of Spring Break. I have immensly enjoyed Spring Break this year. Was I down in South Beach partying it up with all of the trampy ho's? No. Was I away in South America helping poor people build their houses? No. What was I doing you ask? I was...going home after work. The excitement! It was so nice to know that I didn't have to remain on campus for 12+ hours two days a week. Next Monday, I start, "dum math" as apposed to "dum dum math" which was last quarter, and the second half of European history. I officially just have a language and a lit gen ed to finish and then I will be all done with my gen eds. It only took 9 years. :) I would never have imagined that I'd be in college for this long, maybe it's keeping me youthful. I can't NOT go though when it is free.

Yesterday was the 100 day mark until the wedding. Ugh. I have never had so much excitement and dread for one day in my entire life. I got my hair done yesterday, to celebrate the occassion, and I love it. I will have to give up my first born to pay for it but I guess it's worth getting it done every now and then.

The Great Return.

Let me preface this post by saying that I know that probably 1 or 2 people may read this, or they might not. I recognize this and yet I continue to blog anyways.

Apparently, I feel the need to begin blogging again once a year. For the past few months, I have been thinking about what I could do with this blog. I could continue on with my random, perhaps even sometimes witty posts. I could make this a Columbus blog, in spirit of "The Burgh Blog" that I like reading so much as a displaced burgher. I have some other ideas, but maybe I'll just keep them a secret until I can actually implement them into the content. I don't know. Then there is the possibility that this will be the last post for another year. Who knows?

More later.